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Forgiveness

Forgiveness is an important treatment for resolving feelings of anger, hurt, and betrayal. Forgiveness therapy is an evidence-based treatment for anger (Enright & Fitzgibbons, 2000, 2015). Enright and Fitzgibbons have published extensively regarding forgiveness therapy. Their approach views forgiveness as a process involving stages of uncovering, decision, work, and deepening. Read more

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Unforgiveness

Everyone experiences hurts and transgressions. When an offence occurs, people often react with anger, fear, or sadness. When these responses persist, ... https://www.psychologytools.com/resource/unforgiveness/

Forgiveness

Everyone experiences interpersonal hurts, such as acts of omission (e.g., being neglected) and acts of commission (e.g., intentional or unintentional ... https://www.psychologytools.com/resource/forgiveness/

Forgiveness Methods

Forgiveness is an effective treatment for anger and the relief of hurt. This information handout describes techniques for forgiveness and the steps in ... https://www.psychologytools.com/resource/forgiveness-methods/

Unforgiveness – The Hook

Everyone experiences hurts and transgressions. When an offence occurs, people often react with anger, fear, or sadness. When these responses persist, ... https://www.psychologytools.com/resource/unforgiveness-the-hook/

What Forgiveness Is Not

Forgiveness is an effective way of treating anger and relieving hurt. Unfortunately, it is often misunderstood, and often dismissed as a result. For i ... https://www.psychologytools.com/resource/what-forgiveness-is-not/

Forgiveness Quotes

Forgiveness takes courage and strength. Clients often struggle with the concept of forgiveness because of unhelpful misconceptions. The Forgiveness Qu ... https://www.psychologytools.com/resource/forgiveness-quotes/

Links to external resources

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Guides and workbooks

Information Handouts

Information (Professional)

  • The Enright Model of Psychological Forgiveness | Phillip Sutton
  • Enright Forgiveness Process Model | International Forgiveness Institute

Treatment Guide

  • The courage to forgive: educating elementary school children about forgiveness | Suzanne Freedman, Robert Enright | 2021

Recommended Reading

  • Baskin, T. W., & Enright, R. D. (2004). Intervention studies on forgiveness: a meta‐analysis. Journal of Counseling & Development, 82(1), 79-90
  • Enright, R. D., Fitzgibbons, R. P. (2000). Helping clients forgive: An empirical guide for resolving anger and restoring hope. Washington DC: American Psychological Association
  • McCullough, M. E., vanOyen Witvliet, C. (2009). The psychology of forgiveness, in Snyder, C. R., & Lopez, S. J. eds, Oxford handbook of positive psychology. Oxford University Press, USA

What Is Forgiveness?

Forgiveness is a complicated term that is frequently misunderstood. Forgiving encompasses:

  • a willingness to abandon one’s right to resentment, negative judgment, and negative behavior toward one who acted unjustly; and
  • the voluntary fostering of the undeserved qualities of compassion, generosity, and sometimes even love toward the one who offended.

What Forgiveness Is Not…

Forgiveness is often misunderstood to mean reconciling, forgetting, pardoning, and/or accepting. Forgiving is separate from justice—one can forgive but still seek recognition and justice.

Freedman and Enright (2017) quote a survivor of domestic violence who clarifies some of the dimensions of forgiveness:

“Upon forgiving, I have not forgotten what happened. In remembering I make different choices in my intimate relationships. I do not condone what was done to me. It was morally wrong and undeserved. This forgiveness is not pardon, for I do not excuse his behavior or pretend it never occurred. My process of forgiveness was not reconciliation. In fact, mine was the opposite. It is a fracture that will never be mended.”

The Process Model of Forgiveness

Enright’s model of forgiveness identifies four phases.

  • Uncovering phase: In which the injured person comes to an awareness of their hurt and feelings associated with how they were wronged.
  • Decision phase: In which the injured person recognizes that the way in which they have been coping is no longer effective and begins to explore forgiveness as an option for healing. This phase involves an exploration of what forgiveness is and is not.
  • Work phase: In which the injured person actively engages in a process of understanding their offender, developing compassion and empathy, and absorbing the pain of their injury instead of passing it on to others.
  • Outcome or discovery phase: In which the injured person attempts to find meaning in their suffering, and realizes that giving the gift of forgiveness is healing for themselves.

References

  • Enright, R. D., & Fitzgibbons, R. P. (2000). Helping clients forgive: An empirical guide for resolving anger and restoring hope. American Psychological Association.
  • Enright, R. D., & Fitzgibbons, R. (2015). Forgiveness therapy: An empirical guide for resolving anger and restoring hope. Washington, DC: APA Books.
  • Freedman, S., & Enright, R. D. (2017). The use of forgiveness therapy with female survivors of abuse. Journal of Women’s Health Care, 6(3), art. 369. doi: 10.4172/2167-0420.1000369